Note: A roseate sonnet, dedicated to the beautiful, lonely, vulnerable and literary soul of Charulata, the heroine of Rabindranath Tagore’s magnum opus novella ‘Nastanirh’ (which had been filmed by Satyajit Ray, the Oscar-winning filmmaker as ‘Charulata’), the lovelorn soul who seeks love, acceptance and validation from both her husband Bhupati, and realizes the irony of her twisted fate towards the end, when both she and her husband seek a closure.
Every time I have let loose, I went flopping, I drifted ashore,
My pain, lopsided anguish charring me with the embers of my torn poetry.
The silver swirl of my words, my unquenched thirst you had never known, my husband,
Voices floating inside my lovelorn being, in your brother’s bonhomie, had found delightful symmetry.
For you, beneath your spectacles and uninviting cool, had never known how
While I chewed on betel leaves, I scraped inside like crimson paint, pummeling my raw pages like dough.
Did even Amal know, when we wove our silken dreams of our clandestine garden, our little lake, idyllic ducks,
How I craved to be princess of yore for you both, slithering in your mediocre love, every then and now?
A damned, accursed princess, seated unaware, beneath the shady canopy of the hog plum tree,
Burning my untainted silence of moments, dreaming of rampant, inconsequential poesy that was never to be.
Running away, surreptitious, from my frayed edges, Amal, didn’t you trip over our shadowed world, for once?
Only if I had known before, our twilight hill would be crushed, trampled, our rhythmic melody broken down, thus.
Silent, ebbing and swelling inside, my domesticated footsteps censured me, “Charu, be the cloudburst, but never the rain.
Enter my wet, plundered earth, my husband, let us take each other in our lost catharsis, let me be your loving wife, the adulteress.
All Rights Reserved. Lopa Banerjee. March 27, 2017.
P.S. The novella in Bengali has been translated by me as ‘The Broken Home’ (available in Amazon Kindle) and fetched me the International Reuel Prize for translation in 2016, instituted by The Significant League, a literary group in Facebook and The Autism Village Project Trust.